More Plenty of Fish messages!

So, I've been digging through my old Plenty of Fish messages, hoping to add some more silly ones to this blog.  I really liked the first post I did on the subject, and the idea of publishing a book on the silly crap I say on dating sites has merit to me.  So, here are a few more I thought were worth keeping.

Re:  Iced Cappuccino

So, I've come to the conclusion that no matter what you say, PoF greetings are always gonna suck. I could say "hello", "hi", or anything even close to that, and it'd all be the same to you. So, instead of any of that, I choose to say "Iced Cappuccino". At the very least, you'll have to read a message with such a non sequitor beginning, right?


I like any Plenty of Fish profile that professes an interest in men that are nerdy - not, of course, that I'm nerdy. I mean, people think I am, simply because I read Wikipedia as a hobby, and I quote movies at odd moments. Ah, well. There are worse things to be called.



Like Iced Cappuccino, I imagine.

So, I figured I'd say "hi", but without trying to sound as lame as I'm sure most PoF greetings are. I imagine most just repeat your interests back to you. Saying "hey, you're looking for someone fun and creative and thoughtful. Well, *I'M* fun and creative and thoughtful!".



I'm not, at all. Actually, I've been told I'm an utter bore. As for creativity, nah. And not thoughtful at all. I once kicked an orphan. But I'm still pretty cool. Those nerd-sayers aside, that is.



Hopefully, you'll browse through my profile, realize how awesome I am, and you'll swoon at my ginger-good looks.



You'll look at my awesome qualities, and realize you have to message me back. That you have no choice but to get to know a little bit more about me.

Plus, I know a bunch of engineer jokes. Just saying, is all.



And now I must go, off to do something fun and creative, yet thoughtful at the same time.

Take care,



-Dave

Reading this one, I realize that yeah, I was kind of an asshole here.  Also, I believe the woman said she was an engineer, which is why I put in the "engineer jokes" bit.  Of course, with hindsight, I think those engineer jokes probably wouldn't have impressed her much... considering how she responded to this message.  (She didn't).

So, for the next girl, you have to realize that she said that she's smiling or laughing 95% of the time, and that she has a pretty sarcastic/wicked sense of humour. Also, I edited out some of the non-funny parts, because they kind of give this person away if you go on PoF.  Which is not what I'm aiming to do.

Re:  95% of the Time, you...

So, I've got one question for you: if you're smiling and/or laughing 95% of the time... how often do you sleep? I'm running the numbers here, and by the looks of it, you're only getting a little over an hour a night.

Unless you laugh in your sleep. Which may be true. I've seen it before. I had a friend who used to sing in his sleep. His girlfriend used to tell us all sorts of songs he'd been crooning.

**Personal Stuff Here**

Okay. I'm gonna shut up now. Take care, and have a great week! Hope to hear from you soon,



-Dave

And here's number three.  About the only thing to keep in mind here is that this girl is from Australia.  And my original (sadly, deleted) message was pretty bad.  Thankfully, I didn't send it... not that it mattered.

Re:  Reasons of National Security

I'm afraid you're only going to get the quick message.

I like to make nice, long introductory messages that show off my unusually-hilarious self. I'd love to do something similar here, but unfortunately, I have about ten minutes before I have to leave my house. I have one shoe on right now, and my mouth still tastes like Listerine. The pub awaits, and I fully plan on losing at least a dozen games of pool, and poking out somebody's eye with a dart.

So, you get the short "hi" message. I'm a big fan of most of the interests of yours, with the exception of snowboarding (I consider it "falling with style") and travelling (not that I'm against it... but my wallet seems to hate the idea). So, I figured I'd send you a line.

But, I don't get to be my witty self. Which is too bad. You're missing out on a work of art, here. I briefly considered sending you a message pretending to be the Australian Embassy in British Columbia, telling you that you needed to go on a date with Dave, for "reasons of national security".

Unfortunately, you just get honest Dave, here. Would love to hear back from you, show you just how cool Victoria is, and see where it goes from there.

If not, well, take care and have fun.

And keep your ears open for any Embassy Requests.

-Dave