Music Mondays: The Poser Trap.

A little while back, I came up with a plan:  to create a fake band T-Shirt, and then to wear said T-Shirt to a place where a lot of self-righteous hipsters congregate.  The game was simple:  to see how many hipsters would, without provocation, start talking to me about the band I was supposedly a fan of... and to see how many hipsters would tell me they'd heard of my band, or actively listened to them.

In short, it was a poser trap.

Well, I'm going into the printing shop tomorrow, to make up just such a shirt.  The band name will be called "The Generic Douchebags" (name courtesy of Girl Interrupted), and I'm putting in a list of tour locations on the back.  I want it to be a very indie-looking shirt, so we'll see how that goes.  Don't worry... there will be picture.

To be honest, I think I have the beginnings of a new hobby.  Or maybe even a sport - who can snag the most hipsters in a day?  An hour? 

Along that note, where is a good place to go "hipster hunting"?  Record stores, small venue shows, and vegan eateries are all obvious places.  I'm also thinking The Noodle Box would be filled with pretentious hipsters.  As for other places, I'm not entirely sure.

Finally, the shirt will be printed tomorrow (tuesday the 22nd), but if someone wants to link to an appropriate picture beforehand, I'd be more than willing to consider using it.  I still haven't found a band image worth using. 

More Things I Hate!

Things I Hate...

• 8.  The Anaheim Ducks. 
• 9.  Any movie with a Wayan brother in it.
• 10.  Upper middle class kids with three hundred dollar emo glasses, carrying iPhones and an expensive laptop... who wear Che Guevera t-shirts. 
• 11.  The French.
• 12.  Uppity Vegans (when I am king, they'll be first against the wall...)
• 13.  Michael Bay. 
• 14.  When bands that were awesome in the 70s or 80s decide to "reform".  Because you know they're just going to make crap music. 

Things I Hate...

"Dave, you need to update your blog," my inner voice kept nagging me.  "You're running out of reserve posts."

"But inner voice," said I, "I have nothing to write about!"

"You could always just make a list of stupid things you hate, or movies, or..."

"Nah, those are dumb ideas.  I need all my blog posts to be witty, clever, and brilliant." 

"Well, if you don't do something soon, you're going to miss a day.  And then your daily posting streak will be ruined."

"Don't worry, Inner Voice," I said, "I'll think of something."

Turns out, I am completely bereft of things to post about. 

So, without further ado, allow me to introduce a new feature (and a handy way to fill dead space, but don't tell anyone I told you) - a handy little list I like to call:  "Things I Hate..."

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Things I Hate...

1. People that wait in a restaurant line for a couple of minutes, and don't make up their mind what they want until they get to the counter.  "Ummmm.... I'll have an, umm......"
2. Any song that either begins or ends with more than two seconds of guitar feedback.
3. This. Stupid. Commercial. Like, this band writes down the lyrics to a song, and then gets rejected by a studio.  And then they play "their" song in front of a crowd.  Except the song is by, um, the Beatles. 
4. "Are you sure you should be eating that?  You are diabetic, you know..."
5. The French.
6. Any sentence that begins with "I'm not racist, but...".  Also, any person that says "I'm not racist, but..."
7. People that put their backpack next to them on a bus seat, so no one else can sit there - especially if the bus is crowded.