On the subject of Newt Olympics

I have an aquarium on my desk. And in it is a little paddletail newt named Winona Ryder. I so chose the name "Winona Ryder" because I know absolutely nothing about IDing the gender of paddletail newts, so I wanted a name that was gender neutral.

Winona doesn't usually do much in his/her tank, mostly just hiding under rocks and chasing after fish that are way too fast for him/her to catch. But sometimes, it's a very entertaining creature to watch.

Right now, it's swimming straight up, breaching the water (yes, like a whale), and then sinking back down, slowly. It then pauses, looks around nervously, and then does this again.

And again.

I think it's practicing for some sort of "newt olympics".

I have no idea how such an event would be judged, but I imagine points being scored for the highest breach above the surface of the water, the largest splash, and the gracefulness of the descent back to the tank floor. Right now, using the mentioned scoring device, I think Winona is averaging about a 7.8 in the technical department, and maybe slightly higher in the artistic category. Except from the Russian Judge, who is scoring flat 6s across the board, which is angering the Chinese audience.

Geez. When did newt olympics get so political, man?