I'm not gonna post them, because I'm lazy, and I don't want to have an angry Kittens going after me for putting stuff about us online. But to paraphrase, it sort of goes like this: Did you know that the vagina of an adult blue whale can let in a volkswagon? No? Did you know that the Vagina of Cher can let in a blue whale?
(I should say now, for the record, that we had already talked enough to establish that we both have a habit of saying weird things upon first meetings, which was the point of the 'whale vagina' bit).
Anyways, this sort of stuff amuses me. Probably because of my coconut brain.
My point here is, I don't always bring up this stuff. Usually, my sort of "funny" is only kind of funny. It's usually just these stories that have a bit of humour to them, but none of that random crazy shit that is pretty much pure awesome. And I hit upon why that is today.
Pure fucking terror.
Or, to be a bit more accurate, fear. When we are afraid, nervous, or in some other agitated state of mind, we tend to think outside of our usual comfort zone. When I was writing to Kittens, I really turned on my "A game", writing super silly stuff in the hopes that she'd like me. And I was afraid that she wouldn't.
So, if I want to produce truly amusing, funny stuff, I have to keep myself in a state of fear, nervousness, and agitation. And I think I've figured it out.
Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce to you Kilroy, the literary tiger:
Kilroy here, as you can see, is a well-armed tiger. His literary interests include Mark Twain, Calvin and Hobbes (natch), and anything "funny". He has been known to kill people that are boring or that produce highly derivative work.
He's currently in my bathroom, freshening up after a long flight from Bengal. And cleaning his gun. He's told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I don't produce grade A comic material, he's gonna "go apeshit" on me.
I'm afraid for my life, o blogosphere readers.
But at least I'll die funny.
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