You know I'm a hemophiliac, right?

I had to get bloodwork done the other day.  One of the downsides of being a diabetic (are there many upsides?) is that you have to get bloodwork done pretty frequently.  I've turned it into a game, though. 

• There was the time I said "hey, you found a vein!  I'm amazed.  Could you mark it with a pen?  I'm doing heroin later on tonight, and that will really help." 
• ...or the time I asked for a lollypop afterwards.   "Aren't you a diabetic?" the confused technician asked, making this scrunched-up face.  And then I got all pouty and said "geez, what are you, my mom?"
• My personal favourite moment, though, was to wait until the woman had stuck the needle in the vein before saying "You know I'm a hemophiliac, right?".  Seriously.  I've never seen someone's face fall like that.  It was priceless.

Now, before you think I'm some sort of total asshole (I am, but I don't want you thinking that), you should know this.  Each time I made a comment like that, they'd laugh.  You see, when you work at a blood clinic, you mostly deal with the elderly, the nearly-dead, and the depressed.  So, when someone comes in cracking jokes, you jump at the chance to play around.

It helps that most medical people I know have a sense of humour almost as fucked up as my own.  It's pretty amazing.

Some of the replies I've heard to my fun little games:

• "Of course I found a vein.  If you'd ask me to find muscle, though, we'd be here all week."
• "No, if I was your mom, I don't know how I'd sleep at night."
• Okay.  ...The nurse who thought she'd just stabbed a hemophiliac freaked out a little bit.  Like she'd just driven her Miata into me, or something.  I may feel a little guilty about it, but I really think that made everything funnier. Her friends thought it was pretty hilarious, too.

You see, medical people are generally pretty messed up.  In short, they're awesome.

Today, I played the "You look big and strong, so I'll be super nice so you don't hurt me" game.  Coupled with the "I have to give you a urine test today, so I'm not going to bug you any more than I have to" game.  Because everyone has their limits.