A Scavenger Hunt!

Hey, dear reader(s).

Bored?  Need something to do?  Have no fear!  Because Dave is here for you!

It is time for the first annual Crazy Newt Scavenger Hunt.  Big prizes are to be won (maybe, but probably not)!  All you have to do is find the items listed below, and reference them in your response e-mail.  Should be easy enough, right?

Feel free to tackle it next time you're bored, or debating suicide.  Just, don't be a douche and make your own website, filling it with these items, just so you can finish the list.  That'd be lame. 

And nobody likes lamers. 

The List

1. A functional recipe for how to cook Penguin.
2. A limerick involving dragons.
3. A picture of Adolf Hitler smiling.
4. A map of an ancient city
5. The first Calvin and Hobbes comic strip ever published
6. Jesus Fan-Fiction (bonus points if it contains Twilight references!)
7. A "how to" video where the host curses, swears, smokes, or drinks. 
8. A picture of a kitten or a dog wearing at least three different articles of clothing at once.
9. Advice on how to train a squirrel.
10. A google-maps screenshot of Gray's Papaya (any location, but it must be visible). 

I'd be amazed if someone finishes this.  I'd really like that picture of Hitler.