A guest post from my friend...

Hey everyone.  So my friend and neighbour, Eric Munchausen, has been following my blog now for some time.  Yesterday, he asked me if he could make a post or two for the masses.  I was more than happy to oblige - after all, "guest posts" are a sign you've made it in internet bloggery.  But, out of concern for my reader(s), I told Eric that he had to have a topic to write about.  He could not just rant and rave on my blog, after all.

You see, Eric has been going through some rough times, and I did not want to subject you, my dear reader(s), to Eric's darkest thoughts.  I suggested he do an upbeat, happy post.  After much discussion, we agreed that Eric would deliver a cooking-themed blog post.  Eric has been trying some new forms of cuisine out over the last few months, and I'm sure he would love to share them with you. 

So, without further ado, I give you... Eric Munchausen's cooking corner.  Enjoy!

-Dave

Eric's Cooking Corner

Hi.  And thanks, Dave.  I'm a huge fan of your blog, and read it in the evenings after work to keep the bad thoughts away.

A few months ago, after a court-order to stay five hundred yards away from my old home, I had to move into this new apartment and embark on a new life.  And part of that new life, apparently, is to subsist on cheap, substandard foodstuffs.  The Canadian Justice system, my friends, is not kind towards hard-working fathers and divorcees.  Because that cheating whore never worked a day in her life, apparently I have to support her after she kicked me out of my own home, and now I'm stuck living off garbage while she eats caviar.

Sorry.  My therapist says I should just let it all out.

Dave asked me to give you some cooking advice, which I'm excited to do.  I've discovered new cuisine of unimaginable variety over the past few months of enforced bachelordom - Kraft Dinner, Instant Ramen, Minute Rice, Lipton's sidekicks, instant potatoes, frozen perogies, and more!  Today, I plan on showing you how to turn a humdrum dish like Kraft Dinner into something a bit more exciting.

Yes.  I said exciting.  Kraft Dinner can be spiced up, and given a little pizazz.  Who's exciting now, Sheila?

Eric's Pizazz'd Kraft Dinner

What You'll Need

• Box of Kraft Dinner
• 1% milk (2 tablespoons)
• Butter or margarine (1 tablespoon) (optional - use  garlic butter instead)
• Shredded Medium or Sharp cheddar cheese (roughly 50g, or 1/4 cup)
• Louisiana hot sauce (add to taste)
• herb and garlic cream cheese (1 tablespoon)
• Cooked Black Beans (1/4 cup)

Instructions

1.   Boil six cups of water in medium pot, like the medium pot I had to steal from a thrift store downtown.  Add macaroni noodles, and boil until noodles are tender like my breaking heart. 
2.  Drain water, leaving noodles in the pot soft and flaccid (God, I'm so lonely).  Add the remaining ingredients and stir.  Take the cheese package from the kraft dinner box, and add about 1/3rd of the package.  My wife, the cheating slut, will want the other 2/3rds, because she's "entitled" to it from court-order.  I can't even see my kids anymore.  Stir the mixture.   
3.  Salt to taste.  I use my bitter tears of reject and loss as flavouring.  You can use, salt.  Makes a great pre-suicide snack!