Search for a teapot.

I have been on a search for a masculine tea pot. It's about as hard as it sounds, actually.

It seems every tea pot ever made has flowers on it.  Or it's pink.  Or it's shaped like a flower.  Or a penis.  Tea pots are made exclusively for women and gay men, apparently. 

It bugs me, because I want a tea pot, because I like tea.  And I am neither a woman, nor am I gay.  Competitive showering comments aside.  Ideally, my straight male tea pot is a simple black thing.  It's not covered in uzis, or sports memorabilia... though a tea pot with a hockey stick for a spout would be pretty awesome.