Newt and the Rebel Toe:

Every body in the world has strange little quirks to it, which makes sense. I mean, most cars have bits of individual 'character' ("It always hums a little when I shift gears", "It was created from cast-off parts of Hitler's car", "I swear it laughs every time we run over a squirrel"). And cars are factory-made... human bodies are only rarely made in factories. Though a lot of them do seem to be made in the third world...


My big bodily "quirk" is Diabetes, which is a pain in the ass that I have to deal with every day, usually with success (knock on wood). So when I look at my other "quirks", I barely notice them... and when they do materialize, I look at them with fondness and not annoyance, because hey, something minor is wrong with me that has nothing to do with Diabetes. Woot!

One of my strange quirks is what I like to call "The rebel toe".

Basically, every now and then (usually when I've been exercising a lot and havent' stayed properly hydrated) the big toe on my left foot will bend downwards and try to hide under its neighbour, like some sort of cowardly frenchman. This is sort of painful for me, and to fix it, I have to grab the toe and pull it back into position - usually a few times before it gets the hint and stays there.

It first happened more than twenty years ago, when I was six. I was swimming when the toe first decided to make a break for it, and the sudden "intense" pain (I was young, every pain was "intense") shocked me enough that I stopped swimming and started doing that other thing. What's it called? Oh, right, sinking. I did that.

But don't worry. I got better.

I've had to deal with it over the years, usually with a laugh and a polite "excuse me". But there are times when it can get particularly funny.

For example, when I'm wearing shoes. If I can't immediately take off my shoe due to the "social constraints" (my second least favourite type of constraint!), it will just get progressively worse. Last year, it happened while I was at a Halloween dance. I wound up hobbling around the dance floor, kicking walls and tables hoping to knock my toe back into place.

I think everyone else just thought I was, like, really mad or something. I'm sure it gave me a certain mystique.

I only mention this because my toe's been going haywire today. Cheeky little bastard.

1 comment:

  1. Toe cramps can indicate low calcium. I get them sometimes and when I take Calcium/Magnesium supplements they go away after a few days.