Yawn

Oh, insomnia.

For the last week or so, I've been in the throes of insomnia. As a long time sufferer, I don't really notice too much when I only log a few hours of sleep. It's when the patches of insomnia last for a week or more that I really begin to get cranky.

In other words, I don't get upset until after the sleep-deprived hallucinations start. Once Smokey the Mexican Raccoon starts telling me I should eat more Heuvos Rancheros, I know I'm fucked.

Take the other night. I hadn't slept much the two nights previous, and actually stopped drinking caffeine after 1 pm or so. I did a bunch of exercise, and had worked out most of the stuff that was causing me stress. I was dead tired, so when I crawled into bed, I had a feeling I'd get some much needed rest. I was in bed by eleven.

And got up at 1 am. And 2 am. And 3am. When I woke up at 3, I started punching my blankets, and moved from my couch (where I've been sleeping lately, for no real reason) and went to my bed. Where I slept until 4 am. I wound up getting out of bed at around 5:30, convinced that God hates me.

Either that, or he thinks it's funny to mess with my head or something. Sometimes, when I'm dying of sleep deprivation, I compare God to a kid on an anthill with a magnifying glass. This makes me laugh, until God responds by saying "oh yeah? Well, just for that, I'm going to send some police to your building at 4 am. How do you like that, fucker?"

Goddamn omnipotent deities. If only you weren't so mean. And also, fictitious.

Anyways, in that same one-week span, I've awakened in absolute terror, unsure of where I was and spending minutes - literally, minutes - trying to get my bearings. I woke up once convinced that I was sleeping in my apartment, but in some room I hadn't yet discovered, even though I've lived here for four years or so.

And then I've also had the usual dose of crazy and unnerving dreams, nightmares, and other random crap that does its best to keep me awake. Couple that with a whole bunch of worries guaranteed to keep me tossing and turning, along with diabetic low blood sugars that conspire to awaken me even when I do get to sleep, and it all contributes to a very unhappy Newt.

It's been a perfect storm of insomnia, and I am not pleased. Not one iota.