An entirely untrue conversation:

"Hey, long time, no see. What's new?"

"Oh, just trying to figure out how many people we lost to the rapture."

"The Rapture?"

"Yeah. It happened last week. All the truly good christian believers went to heaven, and all the truly evil people went to hell, leaving everyone else behind." "

Oh, um. That sounds... hm. Did we lose anybody?"

"Not that I can tell. I think that means that all human beings kind of fall somewhere in the middle."

"Bet you the Christians don't like that."

"They're embarrassed that they didn't get raptured, so they're all hiding in their basements."

"...Thank God for apocalypses, eh?"