Thank you, God, for inventing tight pants

Dammit.  This new job thing is not going well.

Or rather, it'd be going swimmingly, were it not for the fact that my supervisor is cute.  I've mentioned before how she was attractive, but I thought my checking her out was a one time thing.  That, after learning from my awkwardness during the interview, I would learn from my mistakes and avoid ogling her if at all possible.

...yeah, that's not going to happen.

During the orientation a few days back, she came in to help out with the filling of paperwork.  I was focusing on what I was supposed to be focusing on (tax papers and sexual harassment policies... read into that what you will), but about 13% of my attention was paying attention to the fact that she's a nice looking lady.  And then all those "guy thoughts" ran through my head:
  • I wonder if she's single?
  • Hey, when she lifts her arms like that, I can see her belly.
  • Damn, that's a nice belly.
  • I wonder if she's single?
  • Thank you, God, for inventing tight pants.
And so on, and so forth.

And then I went into what I'd like to call "Guy Ego Mode".  Which works a little bit like this - you start to gauge the woman's interactions with you and compare them to her interactions with other, and attribute the minute differences to the fact that she obviously has the hots for you. 

Luckily, I'm able to recognize the signs of Guy Ego Mode, so I was able to fight the urge to stand up and proclaim my everlasting love.  Barely.  Mostly, I fought if off because I was only about 50% sure of her name, and no one likes getting names wrong when you're proclaiming everlasting love.  It's sort of a faux pas.

I've had some cute bosses before, I have to say, but I'm thinking this one wins top prize.  I'm working here for at least a couple of months.  Something tells me it's going to be a long, awkward couple of months.

1 comment:

  1. I really really hope she never reads this. Or maybe she should, the awkwardness would be hilarious. No, that's too mean.