I've been swing-dancing it up lately, learning all sorts of silly moves that will serve to elevate my capacity for breaking people's arms and lowering my sense of worth to dangerous levels. I can do all sorts of fun tricks involving kicks, spins, and a handy little clavicle-busting manouevre known as "the yo-yo".
Of course, I had to show off my newfound dancing prowess. Naturally, I went to the biggest swing dance in town. I went in with high hopes, but a hidden sense that things were going to go terribly wrong. And that the people that showed would all be social rejects of one sort or another.
Except me, of course.
Things went fairly well. Actually, they went swimmingly. Few social rejects, and most of the people that showed up were students of one stripe or another. And, the "UVic Law" still holds. The "UVic Law" being, namely:
UVic Law: Women that attend the University of Victoria must be, on a ten point "hotness" scale, at least a 7.3. Any woman with a rating below 7.3 has 48 hours to put on some makeup, buy some new clothes, or otherwise "hot up". Failure to do so within the deadline will result in an expulsion from university grounds.
Hey, I don't agree with the law, either. But it seems to be fact - UVic women are all cute. And a good chunk of them had shown up to watch me dance. Jitterbug, even.
I did some charming things - I chatted up a girl that was obviously shy, I made witty jokes, I reassured a middle aged woman who was struggling with the steps that she was doing "just great" (she wasn't). But then, I did some less than charming things, too - I fled from an older woman who kept trying to dance with me, I accidentally scowled when a girl said she loved horses (you know they're evil, right?), and I, um, accidentally kicked a girl I was dancing with. Twice.
Didn't break her arm, though.
...and that's the story. You weren't, like, expecting a moral or a summary or something, were you? Geez.
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