Adventures in Public Urination

A fun story from thursday:

I've just finished a doctor's appointment, and I need some change for the bus to get back to Victoria.  So, I have to break a five, by running across the street to the Tim Horton's and ordering a tea.  While the place is about as inviting as most Timmy's (read as:  it's not), I figure I'll have to brave it - I really, really don't want to walk. 

As soon as I walk in the door, I realize I have to pee.  So, a quick detour to the washroom.  It is around this point that I realize why I have to pee, and that I've had approximately five caffeinated beverages in the last four hours... It's been a cold day, and I've been running on less than two hours' sleep.  This would also explain why I had such a high blood pressure during my exam, and might contribute (just a tad) to the fact that I currently look like "Death's retarded young cousin, Jeffy". 

Peeing is finished, and then, coming out from his home behind the toilet, is the world's biggest wolf spider.  We're talking a spider so damned big that I took a step back - I didn't want to get into his way.  He looked like a bouncer at one of those lame night clubs where the men wear pink shirts with popped collars who try to fight everyone that doesn't wear a pink shirt with a popped collar in order to prove how tough they are to the white women who desperately wish they were black. 

So, this spider looks at me, and is all like "sup?" and I'm all like "dude, I was just about to leave" and he was all like "that's cool, yo."

Okay, so I exaggerrated the story a little bit for comedic effect.  The spider didn't speak to me.  Much. 

But the next part is absolutely true.

I get to the counter, and politely inform the woman that "there is an absolutely huge spider in the men's washroom".  And her response to me is "What did you do!?"

As in:  "Why would you put a spider in the washroom, and what are you going to do about it?"

And then she did absolutely nothing, and tried to keep my five dollar bill for a chai tea that cost around a buck.  As I left the place, I saw a man go into the washroom, and heard the sound of a muffled scream and some gurgling noises.