Christmas 3ve musings

Holy crap, time sneaks up on you, doesn't it?  It's, um, Christmas Eve Eve Eve.  I think.  From now on, byt the way, the 22nd will be known as "Christmas 3ve".  I should trademark it, I really should. 

Of course, I'm not of the age where Christmas gets me super excited any more.  Mostly, I look at it as a chance to sit with family, have a few drinks with my dad, and see if I did a halfway decent job of picking out things my family members will like.  But I remember it being pretty different when I was a tiny little ginger boy, knee high to a duck. 

You see, this was roughly the point in time where I went from being a fairly normal shy ginger kid to a hyperactive crazy kid by day, who'd turn into a fretful insomniac at night.

Seriously - I'd spend the whole day getting keyed up by my parents, helping with the cooking, doing household jobs, getting high off industrial-strength sugar (seriously, I think I was ingesting the LD50) and generally being on my best behaviour as a last-ditch effort to sway the mind of Santa. 

And then, when I'd go to bed... my nocturnal tendencies would kick in, and I'd toss and turn.  And worry about, well, everything.  What if I didn't get the toys I wanted?  What if I did something embarrassing while family was there?  What if the unthinkable happens, and MC Hammer goes bankrupt? 

And then my mind would wander to all those bad places kids shouldn't think about:  how I would eventually die, whether my parents would join the ranks and get divorced, and whether I'd ever get the chance to see Vanilla Ice live. 

(so far, thankfully, none of those awful things have come to pass... but I hear Icey boy is in the studio again, so it's not safely off the list yet, I'm afraid)

It's a general fact that I am an insomniac.  But it gets worse when I'm not required to get up during the days - and so, during the christmas season, a time coupled with stress (yes, even for a child), the insomnia kicks in.  And so it is now - I actually got my butt out of bed early today, and yet here it is, 1 am, and I'm still wide awake.  Watching my fish swim in circles and my newt chewing on a piece of fake plastic while thinking "I know how you feel, little buddy"   

And come Christmas Eve, even though I'm not worried about whether or not I'll get that super awesome toy or embarrassing myself in front of my family (that ship has sailed), you can bet your ass I won't get to sleep.  I never have before, and I doubt it'll happen this year.  I mean, a few years ago, I didn't get to sleep until around 3 am... and then was awakened by my parents at around 5.  Woot.  Luckily, my mom doesn't understand what "turmpf de fucghing lighteh opf!" means.  And my brother was pretty good at dodging the pillow I threw at his head.

See, it's a game.  My dad likes to get up super early, and he knows I go all insomniac at times.  He sees it as a character fault.  So, he tries to wake me up JUST as I'm falling asleep.  And then he acts all innocent and says "what?  It's christmas", as if that's a valid excuse.  It's a well known fact my parents are mean, mean people. 

Also, while it should come as no surprise at this point - the next couple of posts on this blog are post-dated.  Meaning, they aren't "fresh" - as if I'd actually update on Christmas Eve!