Blame The Intern

Over the last few months, I've done far too many interviews. And they always ask the same lame-ass questions - "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "What's your worst quality as a worker?" and "Give me an example of a previous time where you rose to the occasion as a team leader".

And they don't really care about your answers, because you're just going to give roughly the same BS answer that everyone else gives. Yeah, in five years time, I can see myself saying "Hey, five years ago today I did that amazingly awesome interview that totally changed my life for the better, and wound up earning my company millions of dollars from hiring me!". My worst quality as a worker? I care too much. And you want a previous occasion as a team leader? Well, I was platoon leader in mutha-truckin' Nam, man. How's that?

One of these days - just once - I'd love to have an interview that asked questions that really got down to the root of who a person is. Imagine it. You'd have questions like "if you were on a boat filled with every hollywood celebrities, and the ship ran out of food and you were forced to eat one celebrity to survive, who would it be?" Or the always-awesome "When the zombie apocalypse inevitably strikes, what assets will you provide to our company so we can keep servicing our clients?" And there's always this gem: "Las Vegas business party. Dead Hooker. Discuss."
I really should be in charge of hiring people. It'd be friggin' awesome.

(Oh, and to answer my own questions: Jennifer Aniston, with the Olsen Twins as an appetizer; My mad McGuyver skills; and three words - Blame the Intern.)