An Open Letter to the Cute McDonald's Employee

Dear cute girl that works at McDonald's,

First off, I want to congratulate you on your cuteness.  I am not a frequent McDonald's customer, but from my limited observations, I have come to the conclusion that it has to be very difficult to look cute in an ill-fitting blue T-shirt, black dress pants, and the ugliest hat ever seen.  Plus, the grease that hangs in the air like humidity probably detracts from overall cuteness, in the long run.  So, congrats on that. 

No, really.

With that out of the way, I really do want to congratulate you.  You are, in fact, only the second person I've met at your particular McDonald's location that seems to have any sort of work ethic.  I am referring, of course, to the salad I ordered from your location yesterday, at around 11 pm.  You were obviously out of salad at that hour, and no new ones had been made.  Instead of saying "we're out" (which I have heard many, many times), you noticed it wasn't busy -it was 11 pm, after all- and ran into the back and made me one by hand. 

Not only that, but you did all the right things.  You said "hello" to me.  And you told me to "have a nice day".  Even though it was, like I said, 11 pm, I still appreciate that.  You did all of this while the guy that was supposed to be in the kitchen (ie, the guy who could have made my salad) was rapping along to the music playing, and your other co-worker hid around a corner and kept peeking out a male customer sitting at a table and giggling. 

Neither of them were very cute. Not at all.

I know it must be very difficult for a McDonald's employee, especially in this neighbourhood.  I imagine you get a lot of drunks, drug addicts, homeless, and generally violent people.  I've seen them at your location, in fact.  I know that people probably flip out on you for the most minor of mistakes - if the kitchen staff accidentally puts cheese on that "no cheese cheesburger", for example.  And I once saw a women scream at one of your co-workers because she didn't have enough money to pay for her meal... she was around fifty cents short. 

Of course, I am not like a lot of the people in this neighbourhood, but I often get lumped in with them.  So, I doubly appreciate the fact that you didn't treat me like garbage,  and actually went through the work of making me my caesar salad.  It was truly a grand gesture, and it really makes you stand out.

However, you forgot to give me croutons.  The nerve!  Obviously, you did this to make me look like a fool.  A crouton-loving, red-haired fool, and I do not appreciate your cruelty.  In fact, as soon as I saw your error, I threw my coat on, with the full intention of marching right back to your McDonald's and screaming at you.  Possibly while drunk and belligerent.  Forget my croutons, will you?  The nerve.  The umbrage! 

With my jacket and shoes on, I left my apartment in a rage.  And then realized it was still raining. 

So I watched Two and a Half Men instead. 

Crisis averted.