Music Mondays: HMV

About a week ago, maybe a bit more, I was poking around HMV looking for some new music.  I was feeling that "itch" for something new, and I was wandering around rather aimlessly.  I would stop in Electronica, take a look at a Massive Attack album, and say to myself "am I ready for this yet?  Nah."

Because, as you know, people that own Massive Attack records begin to feel smugly superior to people that do not own Massive Attack records.  And since I already feel smugly superior to so many people, I don't know if I'm quite ready for that step, as it seems like a lot of work - it's hard work being awesome, y'know. 

So I'd keep wandering around looking for records, making an obscure circuit around the floor, connecting invisible dots.  Otis Redding made me think of Johnny Otis, so I'd check out his work.  While looking there, I'd think of Bo Diddley, and I'd head to the blues.  From there, it was obvious I had to check out Johnny Cash.  Then the Allman brothers, to Lynyrd Skynyrd, to Led Zeppelin, to Cream, to B.B. King, to Albert King, to Chuck Berry, to...

I think you get it.

I realized that I was just hitting old names - stuff I had already heard of.  Which is how HMV works.  Albums only a few years old that were on top 100 charts, or older albums that were well known and likely to sell. 

...I'm not a huge fan of HMV.  But for some reason, Victoria sucks as a place to get music - all of the indie record shops are closing up, unless you want to buy new vinyl records (at Ditch records, preferably) or used albums (and I hate buying used CDs).  These days, HMV has the best selection of music... unfortunately. 

This, of course, dissuades hipsters from buying albums.  And as everyone knows, hipsters fuel the music business (or so they'd have you believe).  There are so many new bands being released, and I think it's because of the rule of inverse hipster happiness - the more hipsters that know of a band, the less they like said band.  And hipsters hate going to record stores where they know most of the music there - if all of the music in a store is top 100 stuff (like, say, HMV), hipsters don't want to shop there.

Which is why I'm opening a new record store.  We will sell only independant music, from small presses.  And the rule is simple:  if you come in looking for a record, and we have it, then we won't sell it to you, because it is obvious that too many people are hearing about this band.

Also, I'm forming my own band.  There are five people in this band, but only three people in the band actually know they're in a band.  The other two members think they're in some sort of reality TV show.  We have no intention of ever actually letting others listen to our music - we want to keep our music "small scale" and "indie" as much as possible. 

Of course, I'll wear a band T-shirt and see how long it takes for a hipster to "recognize" our band name, and tell me "I've been listening to them for years". 


  1. Ha! I couldn't help but think of Barry from 'High Fidelity' when I read this :P

  2. *sniff* The best compliment I have ever received..... ;)