Supermodels vs. Bear

 As a part-time insomniac, I am required by law to occasionally get super sleep-deprived and make poor decisions. This is the reason I own movies like Alexander and The Ringer... in my sleep-addled state, I looked at those films and said "how can they go wrong!?"

However, despite some of the problems that come from sleep-addled declarations, often I stumble across ingenius little ideas that are destined to turn me into a millionaire. Enter the newest idea for a reality TV series...

Supermodels vs. Bear

Here's the idea. Every episode, we put a specially-picked dream team of aspiring supermodels picked up off the streets of Los Angeles. These women, thankful to put their low-grade porn days behind them, wish to win the big prize - some sort of crappy modelling job where they get to wear shiny clothes and get photos taken of them. I don't fully understand how to entice model-folk, but I imagine their attraction to clothes is sort of similar to a magpie's attraction to shiny objects.

How do they win that prize? Well, the team of models have to defeat a trained Grizzly Bear in a no-holds-barred cage match, Mixed-Martial-Arts style. If the women can pummel that bear into submission, then the prettiest (alive) woman at the end gets the modelling contract. Of course, it's not as easy as it sounds. Because, see, we don't feed that Grizzly Bear for a few days before the bout. Also, models killed that bear's mother and wore her skin, so it's kind of got a personal vendetta thing going on towards models.

This is gonna be a great show. The women get to see reality TV, models competing against one another, hair, and clothes. And then men get to see a Bear tearing the shit out of hot girls. Really, it doesn't matter who wins in the end - the way I see it, it's a win-win situation.

3 comments:

  1. You must have a LOT of free time, huh?

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  2. Not really. I spend too much of it thinking up awesome shows like this. Tune in next week, when I talk about the newest in extreme sports: full contact downhill cupcake baking.

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  3. Will not miss that for anything.

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