Film Friday: Start with a bang, and then... nothing.

You know what bugs me?

Okay, wait.  To be fair, if I ask an open question like that, we'll be here all week - there are a lot of things that bug me.  Some of which I don't actually think about too often, but would be bugged by were I to take the time to ponder them.  So, in the interest of brevity, I'll cut to the chase.

I am annoyed by movies that start off amazingly well, to grab your attention, and then wander off into nowheresville.  I'm not talking about movies with great opening scenes, mind you - I'm talking about movies that have a great first ten, twenty minutes, and then fade away into mediocrity. 

What?  You want some examples?  Sure, easy enough (unfortunately). 

• 28 Days Later:  Think about it.  The movie starts off with this amazingly awesome series of scenes in which our main character walks about an abandoned London.  Hell, the first act of the movie is A+, all around.  And then it starts to peter out... and then the characters leave London... and the movie falls apart.  Terrible waste, really.
• The Quiet Earth:  You've probably never heard of this Australian movie.  It starts off much like 28 days later, in fact - one man, alone in the world.  However, here, he really is alone - the last human being... or, really, the last living creature.  He wanders Australia by himself, slowly going crazy... and then the movie wusses out and starts introducing other humans.  And then it just gets stupid.  Lame.
• The Postman:  Oh, god.  How I wish this movie remained awesome.  Oh, how I wish... by the time Tom Petty appears (as himself... in a post-apocalyptic wasteland), it just meanders into the realm of caricature.  Gah.

And it goes on and on.  There are also plenty of movies that are better in the first half than the second (Fight Club, Knocked Up, Hollywood Ending) with lackluster endings, but they don't really fall in this category. 

My solution to these "come too soon" films?  I don't know, but my first impulse was to go with something bukkake-themed.  Luckily, I've matured a bit in my old age, so we'll go with something a bit more adult. 

Fire the directors out of a cannon.  But, to show how we are much more skilled in the art of building suspense, we'll work our way up to the cannon, with some slow torture first.  What kind of slow torture?

The directors have to watch their movie.  All of it... not just the first twenty minutes.