Snow Day

Victoria is once again in the icy grip of winter.  Almost a foot of the stuff fell overnight, leaving the city in a blind panic.  It's on the front page of all the papers, and the first thing to leave everyone's lips.  Facebook is aflutter with crazed comments about snowmen, traffic jams, and icy weather. 

As Victorians, we really aren't used to snow - while we logically understand that yes, water can freeze in the sky and when it's cold enough, fall to the ground as frozen rain, we just don't believe in the core of our being that it can, in fact, happen here.  Sure, it can snow everywhere else in Canada.  But in Victoria?  It's impossible.

And then it does snow, and everyone goes batshit mental.  Victorian natives inevitably act in one of the following two ways:

The first group, who I dub "The Victoria Spazzes", go into a panic the second water that is even in the act of freezing first touches soil.  These are the people who go into the grocery stores and stock up on toilet paper, canned soup, bread, and lemons (so they don't get scurvy, you see).  They call in sick for work, close the blinds, and huddle in their basements praying for the vile vile snow to go away.  While these people are annoying (if only because they make it harder to buy toilet paper), they really aren't the worst faction of Victorians - at least they're out of the way. 

The second group are what I called "The Precipitation Deniers".  They see the snow, and decide to go about their day to day lives, acting as if it doesn't exist at all.  These people believe, simply, that if they refuse to acknowledge the presence of snow, it will promptly disappear.  While this may sound like a great and optimistic philosophy to live by, it's really not that great when these people are, say, driving.  On icy roads.  And don't feel as if they should, you know, slow down. These are the same people who wear mini skirts and sandals in sub zero temperatures and have the gall to complain about being cold.

Sadly, in Victoria, there's no such  thing as a happy medium.  If you're from here, you're pretty much bound to one of the two camps described above.

And if you're not from here, and somewhere else in Canada that regularly has to deal with weather like this?  You look on, not sure if what you're seeing is true - as if part of you wonders if you're being punk'd by, say, God.