I have a new, foolproof way to pick up women at clubs:

DAVE:  Hey baby, come here often?
GIRL:  Um.  Ew.  Do me a favour - get a time machine and go back about thirty years, when that line was only "really old".
DAVE:  Ha ha.  Kitty's got claws.  Don't act like you can resist my charms, baby.  What's your sign?
GIRL:  Please don't call me 'baby' again.  I think I threw up a little. 
DAVE:  You know you like it, baby-doll. 
GIRL:  I said don't call me-
DAVE:  I said "baby-doll", not baby.  See, I'm sensitive to your needs and shit, baby.... doll.
GIRL:  Just, um, go away.  I don't want... anything.... wait, what's happening to me?
DAVE:  I'm wearing a suit.
GIRL:  But that's not... so... irresistable... what's... going.... on?
DAVE:  It's not just a suit.  I also have a shiny tie.
GIRL:  But, but...
DAVE:  And club girls, like common magpies, are unable to resist shiny objects.
GIRL:  Helpless... to... fight.....
DAVE:  So, do you like my suit?  Baby

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