A history lesson:

So, waaaaay back in the 1960s, some people got together and wrote a book.  It was a pretty groovy book, filled with all sorts of crazy and wild things:  magic, wizards, plagues, murders, crazy incestual love schemes, haircuts, and more baby murder than you could shake a stick at!  The whole thing centred around this bearded hippy who spoke about free love and shit, before he got killed and turned into a zombie.  It was a pretty trippy read - they called it "The Bible", although I have no idea where they got the name from.

It was turned into a movie in the 1980s, called Total Recall.

I loved this part where this guy named "God", who was like the king of the wizards or some shit, created the earth.  And he did it in only seven days.  I don't remember all the details, but in the first day he made the earth or something.  The second day he made the oceans, fish and stuff were day three, day four was animals, day five was more animals, day six was the human race, and day seven he cleverly buried dinosaur skeletons so that people would deduce that he didn't exist.

Because he was a very tricky wizard, you see, and wanted to cover his tracks.

Anyways, it's a little-known fact that on day eight, he completed his best creation:

Jalapeno Pringles.

Tasty, crunchy, and spicy like the pits of hell! 

...Which is probably where I'm going after making this post.