On the matter of Coffee Shops...

Victoria is a city of coffee shops, bistros, and little holes in the wall that occasionally serve cinnamon buns.  This is an established fact.  I am pretty sure that for every person that lives in this city, there are approximately three coffee shops.  How they find staff to run said coffee shops, I don't know, but statistics and demographics don't lie, right?

The point is, if you want a cup of coffee, a chai latte, or some sort of weird drink with whipped cream and froofy sprinkles, I'd be willing to bet you can find it within a block or two.  There's just an abundance of hot beverages out there!

Which begs the question:  why is it that there is always a line at the damned one I want to visit?  Within a five minute walk of my place of employment, there are no less than three coffee shops - four, if you count Tim Horton's.  And yet, my shop of choice always seems to have a line up to the door, unless I visit first thing in the morning or right before they close.  I'm hoping I can convince them to just give me a key.

I've been to the other coffee shops in the area, and they're perfectly fine - just not for me. 

One is more of a cafeteria, but with homemade organic foods and cheap lattes.  And in an office sector where everyone pretends they're classy but in reality cannot afford it, everyone likes cheap, right?  The few times I've been there, there hasn't been that much of a line. 

And the other one just oozes charm... an eastern european owner with a moustache who will insist on giving you free refills, fresh muffins covered in seeds of some sort, and a heavy dose of the colour orange.  It's never that busy, but it is the home turf for the guys that work in the ministry of mining.  And while the hot beverages aren't perfect, they are perfectly drinkable.  I think.  There was a dead canary in a cage, last time I went in.  Never seen so many nervous coal miners. 

And Tim Hortons... I mean, yeah, it's gross, but it's the heart and soul of Canada, isn't it?  And just like Canada's heart and soul, it's owned by an American company, but let's not go there.  The point is, people should leave my shop alone, and get their crappy coffees from Timmies.

And yet, all of the office drones have to flock to my shop. The nerve.  I mean, it's an awesome place and all - the type of shop that will play a radiohead album right next to Thin Lizzy's greatest hits before playing something acoustic-y by Tegan and Sara.  But who the hell do they think they are, coming in on my turf?

I have half a mind to open a coffee shop of my own.  I'd call it "distraction", and I would have it follow every coffee shop gimmick known to the human race:  cheap beverages, faux artsy decor, trendy music by musicians you've never heard of, and strange names for cup sizes.  And it will have a discount for all customers who have a "preferred customer card" (which is, obviously, free).  Of course, I'll never drink there, but hopefully it will thin out the crowd a bit at the good coffee shop.

Either that, or it's time to put plan "start shooting from a bell tower" into effect.