Film Friday: The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride:  just your
basic film about a swash-
buckling dread pirate in seach
of adventure, revenge, and - of
course- true love. 

I don't even know why I'm bothering with this.  I mean, it's kind of a pointless post, talking about a movie like this.  I mean, everyone in the world has seen this movie - and those who haven't are obviously living in some sort of third world country, taking shelter from moustachioed dictators by hiding under rusty pieces of corrugated steel, occasionally spearing rats with a sharpened sticks and roasting said rodents over the burning remnant of abandoned hopes and dreams.

The point is, the Princess Bride is kind of a great movie, and people who haven't seen it have obviously been robbed of basic human joy that is recognized by the U.N. as a human right. 

I came across this realization when not one, but two of my co-workers mentioned having never seen it.  And both are very bitter men.

"You seem like a very nice man;
I'd hate to kill you."

The first is a man who will never shut up.  He's the type of person who makes yours truly look like the strong, silent type.  This gentleman, in his early twenties, is so riddled with ADHD that, with nothing else to do, will actually try speaking in morse code... just to be different.  And he'll flip his lid at the slightest provocation.  He actually informed me that the Princess Bride is a movie fit "only for homos", a fact he based solely on the fact that it had "a fruity title". 

The second man is an aging hippie who plays folk music for tiny crowds and spends much of his work time calling third-rate record companies and internet press folks, speaking for all the world like he's about to make it big on the folk music scene.  More power to him... except for the fact that his music sucks.  When a few co-workers started quoting this movie, his response was more or less to the effect of "anything made after 1973 is garbage".  Which explains his wardrobe. 

Both of these people are bitter, angry men, who see absolutely no joy in life.  And I think it's because they've never experienced the joy that is the Princess Bride.

They've obviously never spent an hour sitting on a couch with a friend, quoting obscure lines from the film before dissolving into fits of laughter.  "Anybody have a peanut?" one of them should say, and the other one, in between chortles, could respond with "you keep on using that word;  I do not think it means what you think it means". 

"You seem like a very nice man...
I'd hate to die."

These two have never considered the possibility of "twoo wuve", or felt loved when their partner said "As you wish".  They've never faced their demons in a climactic showdown with a six-fingered man, or bonded with their grandfather over a shared story. 

They've most certainly never tried to figure out what the hell Andre the Giant was saying during his monologue.

And for that, they're dead to me.

Well, mostly dead.  I mean, Miracle Max could always intervene.