The internet is a lovely place. I'm quite the big fan of it, if for only one reason: the internet reminds me that I'm not the only fucked up person out there. The internet is your gateway to untold millions of people just as messed up as you.
I mean, do you know how lame it is to be sitting around in your home city, wondering to yourself if you're the only person out there who thinks barley is better than rice? Do you ever find yourself wondering if you should tell people your deep dark secret, regardless of whatever persecution you might face? Does your preference of barley make you feel like a freak?
Luckily, the internet has made me realize I'm not the only person with this problem. *
We are not alone, people.
However, the internet is also filled with unscrupulous folk, folk who will offer free advertising, and then turn down hard-working bloggers simply because their site is too "mature" and not "family friendly". I mean, the gall of some people, not giving away free advertising because they disagree with the ads they are placing!
Didn't we win the war?
I am referring to my friend, Lola Lakely, who has recently had to endure seconds of hardship at the hand of internet dastards. Her hopes of free internet advertising were dashed against the rocks, like a ship, being, um, dashed against the, well, rocks.
But I'm here to help her fight! Because, dear reader(s), I am going to do what those internet dastards refused to do. I am going to go out of my way and give Lola free advertising. Because I am just that nice of a guy.
Here is her site.
Go forth, my minions, and spread the word. Let those family friendly internet assholes rue the day they messed with us barley-eating freaks.
Yes, I realize that link is about the best grain used to feed horses. But, really, petty details, people. Petty details.
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When you offered up yourself to defend my cause, I was honored. Now, I am empowered with the fire of your words. Seconds of hardship! Seconds of my life robbed from me.
ReplyDeleteYou, Sir Newt, rock.