Weekly Haiku #21 - Victoria, in ten words.

ah, victoria

home of organic coffees

and six dollar fries

Day As Night #15: I wouldn't recommend trying this out, if I were you...

Another webcomic starring batman clips.  I think I just need to make a batman-themed webcomic series.  Because they're just such great images to pilfer.  I mean, look at the face of Gordon in panel #2!  They don't get any better than that, do they?

DO THEY!?

Oh, right.  Click if you wanna read, blah blah blah.

Music Mondays - Jazz Hands

I went swing dancing on friday with the new special lady... and had a lot of fun.  We had some drinks, we laughed, we danced, we wanged, we chunged - everyone had fun tonight.  But, see, the problem with swing dancing is that it's usually done to, y'know, swing music. 

Which has never been my cup o' tea.  There's just something about that old timey music that doesn't do it for me. 

Luckily, the DJ (the ever talented Savage) knew that not everyone was into swing, so he'd throw some old rock tunes into the mix.  And every time one came on, I was grabbing the special lady and pulling her out onto the floor.  We danced to Johnny B. Goode, some Elvis, and other great rock hits.  But the best part?

When Sav put on the Muppet Show theme song.

Imagine a group of people, looking around in confusion, wondering how in the hell they can dance to Miss Piggy giving Kermit a hard time.  Everyone was totally lost, and drifting off the dance floor.

Except yours truly and the special lady.  We were busting a move and laughing our asses off.  I even dipped the special lady low, and then elegantly dragged her across the dance floor.  And we ended by shouting "this is the muppet show toniiiiiiiiiiggggght!" and waving the jazz hands.

Not my coolest moment, that's for sure.

Fun, though.

Ah, people.

I work the help desk for an ATM company which will remain nameless.  And here is an actual phone call:

GUY:  Your fucking machine ate my fucking bank card.
DAVE:  Well, sir, our machines are dip card readers, meaning they only read your card when you take it out of the machine - and the card can't even go in all the way.
GUY:  Hunh?
DAVE:  Do you have a receipt for your transaction?
GUY:  Yeah...
DAVE:  That means you had to have taken the card out of the machine to get that receipt.  Odds are, it either fell out of your hand, or it's in your pocket...
GUY:  It's not in my fucking pocket!  Your machine fucking ate it!
DAVE:  Could you check your pockets for me, sir?  Sometimes, when we do something so many times, we don't remember the little details, like putting our card back in our pocket...
GUY:  It's not fucki-
DAVE:  Just check your pockets, please, and then we'll go into the next step.
GUY:  Fine!  I'll check my goddamn pockets, but I'm telling you, it's not in... oh...
DAVE:  Sir?  Did you find your bank card in your pocket?
GUY:  *click*

People are idiots.  Gotta love it. 

And now, for something completely different...

It's getting harder and harder to do a daily blog these days.  What with near full-time work, a fairly busy social life, and summer around the corner, I don't know if I can keep up with the daily posting.  Definitely, the quality of the blog has been kind of orientated around "filler posts".  Which got me thinking - should I maybe cut down the number of posts?  Maybe, say, five a week for the next little while?

Which features should I keep?  What's worth dropping to an occasional post?  Or is this a complete BS idea?  Would love to hear thoughts on the subject.

Film Friday: The Answers!

I know y'all have been waiting, so here they are... the answers to last week's movie quiz!

1. In that famous "deli orgasm scene" from When Harry Met Sally, the woman who says "I'll have what she's having" is actually Meg Ryan's real-life mother.  Answer:  False.  The woman is actually director Rob Reiner's mother, though for some reason she is usually identified as Ryan's mother. 
2. During the chariot-race scene in the 1959 film Ben Hur, one of the stuntmen fell from a Chariot and was trampled by a horse.  His death was caught on camera, and included in the final cut of the film.  Answer:  False.  The only injury in that scene was a cut on the chin by one of the stuntmen.  Urban Legends strike again! 
3. While filming Jurassic Park, critics pointed out that real-life velociraptors were only half the size of those depicted in the film. However, before filming was complete, a velociraptor skeleton was found that closely resembled that in the film, and was nicknamed "Spielberg's Raptor". Answer:  True.  The raptor species is commonly known as the Utahraptor, after the state it was discovered in.
4. While he played Indiana Jones' father in The Last Crusade, in reality, Sean Connery is only six years older than Ford.  Answer:  True.  Apparently, old people are scary in movies. 
5. In The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, all of the main characters spoke Italian in the scenes, and were overdubbed into English for the western release. Clint Eastwood have to overdub his own voice back into English, being the first actor to ever do a voiceover for his own performance. Answer:  False.  Clint Eastwood did all his speaking parts in English, while other actors spoke in Italian (and were overdubbed for the Western Release). 
6. On the final night of shooting the film Titanic, pranksters mixed PCP (Angel Dust) into a clam chowder served to the cast and crew. Over 80 people fell ill, many being hospitalized with hallucinations.  Answer:  True.  Bill Paxton felt completely listless for weeks after the event.  Every member of the crew suffered the same hallucination, too - the mistaken belief that they had all worked on a halfway decent film.   
7. More money was spent on advertising and promotion for the film Animal House than was spent on the film itself. Answer:  True.  Let that be a lesson to you, Michael Bay!
8. During the filming of Gladiator, new laws arose in Greece that prevented the use of animals in violent action scenes, causing those scenes to instead be filmed on a soundstage in Los Angeles. Answer:  False... Gladiator was filmed in Italy.  And those laws never existed.  Also, Los Angeles isn't a real place. 
9. There was a widespread internet petition to have the title of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers changed, as many fans unfamiliar with Tolkien's 1960s classics felt that the name was in poor taste (referencing the then-recent September 11th attacks). Answer:  Unfortunately, True.  People are idiots. 
10. Kevin Costner has no recollection of ever directing his box office disaster, the Postman. He simply does not remember doing so, and would later claim he was on heavy painkillers and prescription meds during the entire production run of the movie. Answer:  False.  But I'm pretty sure Costner was on one drug or another when he made that movie.  And not those performance-enhancing drugs, either. 
    
    
    
    

"...or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today"

So I'm sitting at Cashline today on my break, with a co-worker who has a very dry sense of humour and a fondness for first-person shooters.  We're having subway and watching trailers for the "really old" Team Fortress 2 (which is less than five years old, mind you).  We're watching the "Meet the Spy" trailer, and my co-worker knows a good line is coming up and is chortling like an idiot.  And then I'm completely blindsided by one of the absolute best lines I've ever heard:

"...no, the would be your mother!"  (drops a bunch of pictures showing the bad guy having sex with the scout's mother) "Indeed.  And now he's here to F*** us!  So listen up, boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today." 

I wish I could say I did the gentlemanly thing, and just kind of smirked and let it pass.  But, alas, it was not to be.  Instead, I roared with laughter, and made sure to quote it about a bazillion times throughout the day.  And, of course, it was all done in that faux french accent.