The Fashion Cycle of Dave:

This has been going on since the fifth grade, and it only took me nigh-on twenty years to figure it out (has it been that long? Holy shit, I'm getting old....)

My wardrobe goes through a cycle, and I can ascertain this by looking through my old piles of clothing, like an archaeologist pulling back layers of debris and finding that human history is indeed a repetitive series of prosperity and collapse. And just like human history, you can name the cycles of my fashion failings.

I call the first age the T-Shirt Age. It essentially consists of a t-shirt, paired with comfortable pants. The exact t-shirts always correspond to how I perceive my personality at the time - in the fifth grade, it was ninja turtles and GI Joe T-Shirts. In my early twenties, it was snarky commentary. And, as I'm currently on the fading end of this part of the cycle right now, it's currently witty, text-light images and bright colours. The pants are just pants.

This stage dips into the Age of Layers. I begin to realize that t-shirts and jeans are a bit simple, and that maybe I'm projecting an image of laziness or simplicity. So, I try to jazz things up. However, as I still maintain my fixation on the shirt being the most important piece of clothing, my response is predictable - I simply double up on shirts. Usually, this second shirt is a button-up thing, most often plaid. And this goes back to the sixth grade, when I was subconsciously emulating all those grunge people I saw on TV.

Finally, I grow out of the Age of Layers, advancing, if you will. I realize that I'm growing up, and I need to start "looking like a grown-up". And so I go into the Age of Threads, This inevitably leads to dress shirts, tailored pants, and (gasp) nice shoes. This started in the seventh grade, and lasted all of one week. Most recently, it happened a few years ago, where I was dressed up every time I left the house... it lasted approximately two weeks. And, like any golden age, it collapses, leaving nothing but a memory.

In my case, I realize that suits are way too much work, and "to hell with anyone who will judge me based on my clothes!". So, to further this new/old point of view, I wear nothing but T-shirts... and comfortable pants. Really, when you see me wearing jeans and a t-shirt, it's my fashion equivalent of walking through a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

This is my long way of saying that I'm tired of being Mad Max, and I want instead to be Kurt Kobain. Or something.

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