*ahem*

*Ahem*

That was a fun few weeks off from the busy world of blogging.  You see, my weeks off were just so incredibly PACKED that I simply did not have time for blogging.  I most certainly was not playing the new Halo: Reach game, drinking cheap drinks in non-cheap quantities, celebrating weddings, and lying on my couch half-naked watching old hockey re-runs. 

Nooooope.  I was, um, busy.  Check it out:

• It's been super stressful at the office.  Even more so than usual - after all, those oodles of papers don't process themselves.  But the worst part was when someone sent a bomb to our office, and the Admin team was chosen to defuse the damned thing while our supervisors "supervised from a remote location".  We were told we were qualified for this "new employment paradigm" due to our "ability to perform admirably against a tight deadline".  It turns out that I don't like having a co-worker scream at me "Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire? RED WIRE OR BLUE WIRE!?".  Also, it turns out that I look exactly the same without eyebrows as I do with.  This bothers me.
• I spent three weeks in jail for picking a fight with this big man who was pushing around this child - I saw him smack the kid and jumped in valiantly, pushing this man against the wall while saying "people like you should be shot!".  Turns out I tackled a pregnant nurse giving the heimlich maneuver to a midget.  Don't worry - the midget survived.  Those nuns who were videotaping the whole thing didn't seem impressed, though. 
• A commercial asked me "how many gulps does it take to get to the bottom of a bottle of Jose Cuervo?".  Mathematically, the answer is sixty seven, but I discovered that it's actually a trick question.  After about gulp forty eight, you break the bottle over someone's head for insulting your mother and wind up picking a fight with some pregnant chick. 

And that was my few weeks off recharging the batteries.

Let us never speak of it again.