On Drawing:

A few days ago, I was stuck on the phone, talking to far too many stupid customers.  While I was stuck waiting to leave a message on someone's machine for the umpteenth time, I started doodling. 

As usual, it sucked. 

Right then and there, I set a goal for myself.  I will learn how to draw.

For the last week or so, I've been doing a drawing a day, trying to learn the basics of line, shading, perspective, and all that crappy stuff that artists go on and on about.  It's been.... difficult.  Very, very difficult.

But that's neither here nor there.  None of you guys really care about that.  What is kind of interesting, and kind of awesome, is the book I chose to use as my reference place.

That's right.  The last week, I've been using a book full of Led Zeppelin pictures as my starting point when learning how to draw.  I've spent the last week drawing pictures of Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Bonham, John Paul Jones, and the rest of the whole wacky bunch. 

I think this is proof that, even when I try to do something that has absolutely nothing to do with music or pop culture... it comes back to music and pop culture. 

Weekly Haiku #46: This is me trying to be deep and introspective

is desired fruit

in branches hardly ahead

always out of reach?

Rue, I say, RUE!

The internet is a lovely place.  I'm quite the big fan of it, if for only one reason:  the internet reminds me that I'm not the only fucked up person out there.  The internet is your gateway to untold millions of people just as messed up as you.

I mean, do you know how lame it is to be sitting around in your home city, wondering to yourself if you're the only person out there who thinks barley is better than rice?  Do you ever find yourself wondering if you should tell people your deep dark secret, regardless of whatever persecution you might face?  Does your preference of barley make you feel like a freak?

Luckily, the internet has made me realize I'm not the only person with this problem.  *

We are not alone, people.

However, the internet is also filled with unscrupulous folk, folk who will offer free advertising, and then turn down hard-working bloggers simply because their site is too "mature" and not "family friendly".  I mean, the gall of some people, not giving away free advertising because they disagree with the ads they are placing! 

Didn't we win the war?

I am referring to my friend, Lola Lakely, who has recently had to endure seconds of hardship at the hand of internet dastards.  Her hopes of free internet advertising were dashed against the rocks, like a ship, being, um, dashed against the, well, rocks. 

But I'm here to help her fight!  Because, dear reader(s), I am going to do what those internet dastards refused to do.  I am going to go out of my way and give Lola free advertising.  Because I am just that nice of a guy.

Here is her site.

Go forth, my minions, and spread the word.  Let those family friendly internet assholes rue the day they messed with us barley-eating freaks. 

Yes, I realize that link is about the best grain used to feed horses.  But, really, petty details, people.  Petty details. 

Yeah, this is awesome:

I'm a music nerd.  And I fully believe that music is universal - it belongs to every culture, every people.  And I find it amazing that people just naturally sense music.  There are only eight notes in music - and those notes are not arbitrarily determined... they are found cross culturally.  And that, to me, is fascinating.

So while this video blows my mind, it really doesn't surprise me.  It's just one of those things that stands to reason.

Enjoy. 

A snippet:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Puns will get you nowhere

SCENE: I'm at work, talking to a female client. She's not my client, so I feel like I'm allowed to make stupid jokes and generally act like an ass. Actually, I feel like I'm entitled to this behaviour because it's a temporary job, and I barely make minimum wage, so it's not like I'm really trying too hard.


Plus, she's cute. She has a boyfriend, so I'm just having fun and making stupid jokes about my prowess as a fine male specimen. And I'm making her laugh.  Which is probably a bad sign.

GIRL: Yeah? You play the clubs, then? Pick up a bunch of women?
DAVE: Not really. Although I've got a good trick to picking up women.
GIRL: Oh?
DAVE: Yyup. Always lift with the knees. That way, you don't throw your back out.
GIRL: (Pauses, and then groans) That's not funny.
DAVE: A bad back rarely is.

That, gents, is how you don't pick up women.  Figuratively or literally. 

Guitar Enthusiasm:

I get excited sometimes.  In fact, sometimes I get so excited about something, that I just have to talk about it.  Unfortunately, when I get in a state like that, my poor friends suffer.  Because my excitement is often about obscure or minor subjects, such as the "ipod touch" incident, when I spent over half an hour telling my mother why the ipod touch would be a fun device to use as a mobile recorder. 

Unfortunately, once I get going, you only have three options:

1. Curl up in the foetal position and start rocking back and forth.
2. Saying "yeah," "mmhmm" and "you don't say?" while focusing your attention elsewhere, OR
3. Dousing me in the eyes with pepper spray and jumping through a nearby window.

My poor friends get stuck in this situation quite often.  Especially lately, now that I've been really getting back into playing the guitar.  For example:

"I just tuned my old guitar to Open G tuning."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it's this crazy tuning that lets you play it almost like an entirely new instrument."

"Oh, um, you don't say?"

"I can use a slide, and get these chords while playing slide guitar.  Chords, on slide guitar!  Isn't that amazing!?"

"Mmm hmm"

"Not to mention that it breaks you out of the usual thinking - you don't just hover around an E chord, because the fingering is all messed up."

"Yeah."

"And I'm trying to learn finger picking again, because this new tuning is like learning an all new instrument, and...."

*sound of breaking glass*

Now let's see how you guys did.  If you read this post without saying "yeah", "mmmhmm", or "you don't say", odds are, you're not my friend.  Either that, or you're already getting the pepper spray ready.